Dorrie (jub_jub88) wrote,

I have been informed that, due to recent events (re: last post), I have become more cynical. I am not ok with this. I've noticed it somewhat since it's been pointed out, and it is unsettling.

Over the past couple of days (maybe even a week or two?), I've been borderline depressed. I've been experiencing surface happiness, and any time spent alone that lasts too long can lead to some pretty harsh thoughts.

I don't like this.

Before this summer, I was doing fantastically. I almost never cried, I was always perky and fun, and it wasn't forced or fake.

But now... I don't know. I'm just waaay quicker to judge, talk down to people, use vulgarity (specifically, calling other chicks I don't like cunts), and mope. I also started falling into the habit of pointless complaining (which had grown less frequent before).

It's just a realization that I'm not ok with. And I'm not sure the best way to go about improving it.

Because I don't like this. I was happy with where I was at before. I'm not sure where or when I lost my way, but my tracks have surely been wiped away.

I know a lot of people don't use livejournal anymore, and the ones that do, I haven't really seen too much of lately, but has anyone else noticed these changes? Or have advice for me? ...please?

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