Dorrie (jub_jub88) wrote,
Dorrie
jub_jub88

Hello, my name is Dorrie, and I love to gossip.

I love it. I know it's not a wonderfully kind or healthy thing to do sometimes, but I love it.

However.

One thing I have never felt comfortable gossiping about is other people's sexuality.

You know.

"Oh are you talking about ____? Dude. That kid is so gay. He just needs to come out of the closet already."

First and foremost, I feel sexuality is something personal, and can only be truly determined by the person themselves. Most of the time these conversations are brought about are by people who are friends with the subject, and it seems the only way it can be determined is by committing sexual acts with the person- which is only a window into their sexual personality.

If a person has not delved deep enough into their own sexual personality to determine whether they are or are not a homosexual, whose right is it to tell them who they are?

Why can't they be who they want to be?

If they're not ready to admit they're gay,

then why do I have to tell them that they are?

It's not like calling them out on it is helpful, all it does is make the person feel uncomfortable and defensive.

I can't make a person realize who they are.

Nor can I tell them who to be.

I can't go up to some teenager, dressed in all black, wearing black lipstick, pale faced, dark hair, and tell them to stop pretending. They're not a goth, they're just some poser preppy assed bitch.

I do not have the right to tell them that.

Nor do they have the right to tell me who I should be.

...And that's just one part in itself.

The fact that I'm not confronting the person about it, I'm only talking about it to friends, who may or may not know the subject well, is even more discomforting.

Assumptions are being made without the subject's consent, and it's not fair to them.

Because, as I stated in my first point, it's a very personal subject.

And even if the person is ready to admit it, they don't want everyone to know.

And on top of that, unless I intend to date the person in question, it really doesn't change my opinion of them. I mean, it's something I'd like to know if and when it happens, but up until then, why should I waste my time on it?

I have more important things to gossip about.
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