Dorrie (jub_jub88) wrote,

I hate to obsess more over facebook, but...

Have you ever gone on facebook and realized that there are several people who you were not too long ago pretty close too, suddenly no longer your friend? They just up and removed you? For no apparent reason?

I just found three. And it couldn't have been that long ago that they un-friended me. And I don't know why they decided to. Well, one I suppose I can understand, but the other two I have no idea why! I mean, I haven't been talking to them very much recently, but that's because the last few times I've called them they haven't answered their phones or called me back. What the fuck!

I moved in a few hours ago. The semester hasn't even fucking started yet and I've already lost friends.

Why is it that when I finally start developing a sense of self, some opinions, even a little confidence in myself (if you can believe that) that everyone finds it offensive and leaves me? I don't feel like I've become worse. But maybe I have.

I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to go back to who I used to be, because I was miserable and I was nobody and I was awkward and quiet and unknown. But I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to keep friends. I don't know how to let people get close to me without freaking out and I don't know how to do anything.

I wish I didn't notice it when people un-friend me on facebook. I mean, I feel like the ultimate loser when I see it and know it. I shouldn't take facebook so seriously. But it's the fact that it's so not serious that it bothers me: very few people un-friend others for no reason. They do it because they don't care about you anymore and they don't want to know anymore about your life or who you are. They want to disconnect themselves from you the quickest and easiest way possible.

What's wrong with me? Please tell me...
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