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Dorrie

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[26 Apr 2009|10:55pm]
My phone is nearing the edge of its life.

NOOOOO

Every time I hold a button down, the screen dims.

DON'T DIE ON ME NOW BUDDY I NEED YOU

WHYYYYYYYYY

In other news, birthday in t minus one hour and 4 minutes. Kickass.
1 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

SAMSUNG SYNC OMG [27 Jan 2009|10:00pm]
My phone rocks. Here are some reasons why:

-I dropped it in the toilet. It still works fine.
-I dropped it in a glass of water. It still worked fine, and didn't even have water damage.
-I've dropped it about a thousand times on the following surfaces:
--Hardwood
--Concrete/pavement
--Stairs
--Tile
--Industrial carpet (you know, that carpet that's not real soft)
-It still looks relatively new
-It can hold over 200 text messages at a time
-Its camera is surprisingly good quality
-It came with a free memory stick so I can hold music/make my own ringtones
-My ringtone is SexyBack and it is still awesome

Things that aren't as awesome about my phone:
-Sometimes if I drop it too hard the buttons stop working... that is until I drop it hard again
-The front screen doesn't stay lit when it is closed

..........Yeah, basically, it's pretty amazing. Any phone that can survive my clumsiness like this deserves an award.
3 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[04 Jan 2009|07:02pm]
I was very productive today. Go me....

Anyway, this has been the most like, solitary break ever. I hardly saw anyone I didn't work with. My craigslist roommate moved out like, the week of Christmas and I've been living alone this whole time. In a way I like it. I get plenty of naked time, I can do what I want, shout and talk to myself without anyone knowing I'm a little crazy.... it's pretty cool, and I can definitely see myself doing it in the future. However, I have almost no drive to hang out with anyone or go out. For the most part, the only people I've been hanging out with are the people I work with. Every time I think about going out I remind myself that it's cold outside. Who wants to go outside in the cold and talk to lame people when I could be alone where it's warm???? There's not really anyone around to hang out with right now anyway.

So yeah, a little cabin fever, but I'm alright.

I'm almost using it as preparation for next semester. I've got a lot of shit to worry about, and I really have to limit how much I hang out with people. I'm pretty terrified about it... I don't know if I can do it. I barely made it through this past semester, and it wasn't even that hard of a semester... ugh.

At least I get to learn about some cool stuff...

On a completely different note, I do not even remember the last time I ate Taco Bell. Also, I don't even remember the last time I wanted Taco Bell this badly.

I hate sitting here and realizing have very, very few interests. Like, a frightening amount. I make excuses up, but none of them really work. I hate it when people ask me what I do in my free time, because I don't even really know. My free time flies by and after a few hours, I don't even know what I had been doing. How the hell does that even happen?

Man.

I hope whoever was hogging the laundry machines is done now. I wanted to start this crap two hours ago. Come on, ya know?
Walk into the bar

[05 Nov 2008|07:44pm]
I feel like going out on a limb here and making an observation. It doesn't really mean much, it's just a little weird, I guess.

I guess it was a month or so ago that the US decided to put missiles in Eastern Europe.

In 1961, the US decided to put missiles in Turkey.

Last night, Russian President Dmitri Medvedev announced his plans to place missiles on the border of the European Union (between Poland and Germany) in response to the US implementation of the missiles.

In 1962, the Soviet Union moved missiles to Cuba, supposedly to help Cuba in the event of an invasion from the US, but more so used as a response to the implementation to US missiles being moved to Turkey.

US President John F. Kennedy, a democrat, was elected in 1961, and handled this crisis. He was preceded by Dwight D. Eisenhower, a republican.

I dunno, I guess I just thought the similarities were kind of weird. There may be more, I haven't looked into it too deeply, but that was my immediate thought upon reading the articles. And these similarities aren't even that striking. I mean, you can't really compare Bush to Eisenhower, or Obama to Kennedy for that matter.

I just wanted to write that down before I forgot it again.
Walk into the bar

[28 Oct 2008|01:49pm]
The following sentence is one that passed through my mind last night, quickly, and completely legitimately:

"I don't care if I die, I just want to dance."

I also touched Kevin Barnes' hand, and it was glorious.

Other memorable moments:
-Seeing a 15ish year old girl on what I assumed to be ecstasy, who left to puke before of Montreal even came on
-Watched some punk-ass teenage boys drop acid shortly before of Montreal came on
--Overheard by said punks:
(after sharing a cup of water, they start eating the ice)
One kid: "Dude, I've never eaten ice before (eats ice) ...oh.... oh my God. It's like... solid... but it's water. (later) ...Guys, tt's like, the essence of cold."
-Ran into a girl who I haven't seen for about a year, whom I assumed had disappeared off the face of the planet
-Thought I might pass out at certain points, because I had hardly eaten all day
-Got a face full of hair for the majority of the concert, and pretty much molested those girls, oops
-After Kevin Barnes threw himself in the audience, in between songs, some kid shouts, "OH MY GOD, I TOUCHED HIS DICK!! I TOUCHED KEVIN BARNES' DICK!"
-Had a major wedgie throughout the entirety of the concert
-Looked really hipster
-On the train afterwards, two black guys sitting a few seats apart:
"Hey man, is that cologne? Lemme smell it. (smells) Ick! It smells like white people. ..(notices me listening) ......no offense."
(I look around and realize I'm the only white person on the car)
Guy: "...Really, I'm not a racist."
Me: "Na man... it's cool."
-Got home at about 11 and washed off the BO (both mine and of other people's)
-Slept so hard.

Basically, going to a concert by myself is one of the greatest decisions I've ever made. Yay!
Walk into the bar

[20 Oct 2008|02:37pm]
Ugh. College is hard.

I start every semester thinking it's going to be ten times harder than the previous semester, when in reality it's only about five times harder.

But the point is that it keeps getting harder. Waaah.

I'm taking 18 credit hours right now, and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. But I'm probably going to have to do it again next spring, too. And since it came to my attention that a liberal arts degree in economics isn't going to get me as far as I would like it to, I'm most likely going to grad school. And to get into most business schools, I have to take a year of calculus. Which means I have to take precalculus.

Ew. That's three semesters of math. And I only have three semesters of college left, not including summer. Ew.

Which also means that one of the classes I'm taking now is pointless (more or less). I hate it when that happens!

Ah well. Enough of me complaining about school.

Things have gotten significantly better the past few weeks or so. Once everything settled down, I was able to, too. Some of my optimistic tendencies have returned, which is good and bad at the same time, but whatever.

I finally wore my heavier coat today. I admitted it to myself. It's cold and winter's coming :(

Basically, I've been keeping busy. And on that note, I'm going to go do more things.
Walk into the bar

[15 Sep 2008|10:57pm]
I have been informed that, due to recent events (re: last post), I have become more cynical. I am not ok with this. I've noticed it somewhat since it's been pointed out, and it is unsettling.

Over the past couple of days (maybe even a week or two?), I've been borderline depressed. I've been experiencing surface happiness, and any time spent alone that lasts too long can lead to some pretty harsh thoughts.

I don't like this.

Before this summer, I was doing fantastically. I almost never cried, I was always perky and fun, and it wasn't forced or fake.

But now... I don't know. I'm just waaay quicker to judge, talk down to people, use vulgarity (specifically, calling other chicks I don't like cunts), and mope. I also started falling into the habit of pointless complaining (which had grown less frequent before).

It's just a realization that I'm not ok with. And I'm not sure the best way to go about improving it.

Because I don't like this. I was happy with where I was at before. I'm not sure where or when I lost my way, but my tracks have surely been wiped away.

I know a lot of people don't use livejournal anymore, and the ones that do, I haven't really seen too much of lately, but has anyone else noticed these changes? Or have advice for me? ...please?

:(
1 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[06 Aug 2008|12:03am]
I bear no grudgeCollapse )
Walk into the bar

[25 Jul 2008|12:35am]
So I've lived here about, what, two and a half months? This is day one of internet access. Maybe a little sad, but it actually wasn't as hard as I was expecting. Unfortunately, I don't think some of my habits have really changed because of it.

Things have been frustrating lately, but they've been getting *slightly* better. There's nothing I can really do about it right now except be patient and wait for things to pass... And I'd love to be more specific, but I suppose for now it's best not to go into detail.

Texting is probably a combination of the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me. It's almost too convenient, and it certainly takes a good chunk of personality out of what is said.

Kind of depressing, no?

No, not really.

I'm sorry, but summer school is a terrible conception. I have next to zero motivation. It's low enough during the year; the summer's just scraping at the bottom of the barrel.

The moon has been lovely lately, and it makes me smile.

And even though there's been a lot of bitch-ass storms lately, they made it nice out.

And that I can be happy about.

I'm not happy with a certain someone who is completely uninterpretable to me.

I'm not happy with labels that a different someone likes to put on every person she encounters.

I'm not happy that I'm avoiding names and specific events to avoid confrontation.

I also don't like that hungry/bored combination.

I've been having strange sleeping intervals. Meaning, I've woken up on two separate occasions this week at about 5 in the morning each time, for reasons I can't determine. And then I won't be able to fall asleep for at least an hour later.

It's more annoying than anything else.

Balls.
Walk into the bar

[13 Jun 2008|11:27am]
I've been happy lately.

I moved into my apartment about a month ago, and things have been rockin' with it. Major problem: no dolla dolla billz y'all.

I still haven't gotten around to getting the internetz at the place. Partly out of laziness, partly out of poorness... So yeah, I spend a lot of time in the computer lab.

BUT I got a job at GameStop a week or two ago, and things are pretty awesome with it.

Reasons why my new job is better than my old job:
-New people are not shunned solely for being new and ignorant
-Check out games fo' free
-I don't want to shoot myself in the face while I'm there
-I don't get cornered by my manager and have to listen to him ramble on for about twenty minutes while I'm on break
-I don't come home feeling like I've been standing for 1000 years
-Cussin' on the job
-General laid-back attitude

Basically, it came to my attention that McChez sucked way more dick than I gave it credit for.

I finished my four week class today. It was mostly just a marathon to finish- class M-F 9-12:15... it was kind of exhausting, but not as bad as I expected. I think I did well on my final, but who knows!

Next is chemistry. Ew.

I've been going home a lot recently for various reasons. I wasn't going to do it this weekend, but it's father's day and my dad's been really good to me lately.

Thinking about how much my parents love me lately has made me really really emotional lately. Well, basically thinking about anything that conflicts my emotions like that gets me all fucked up and kinda teary eyed. It's pretty frustrating.

My posts aren't as good as they used to be. They're more event based and less thought based. Maybe I should fix that.

Or maybe I should go eat lunch.

I'll probably delete this later once I decide that it's boring.
5 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[08 May 2008|08:28pm]
My finals are over. Holy. Shit. That was intense.

I originally thought that my math final was Wednesday at 6, but after sitting in a room filled with physics students, I found out that it was actually tonight. And, of course, I already had two scheduled for this morning.

So yeah, today wasn't fun.

BUT the good news is that it's over! And I plan on having fun tonight. And tomorrow night.

This whole year was crazy. I feel like a completely different person. I know that I'm not, but my surroundings have changed so significantly. I started hanging out with different types of people and it's really refreshing. There's multiple people I can count on and can call a close friend.

It really makes a difference.

But I am sorry to those from the GE that I haven't had much contact with lately :( I hope to mend that within the next few weeks, now that I'm not stressed out of my mind. Keep that in mind.

As for my summer plans, my friend and I are getting an apartment on campus starting Monday. Come visit us! It's going to be ballin. Fo Sho.

It sucks though because I'm still currently unemployed. I'm searching, but things are getting frustrating.

And I'm also taking one 4 week and one 8 week summer course, so... yeah, lame. But hopefully they'll be easier since they're in the summer.

I only get to spend a few days at home though. It sucks because I love my family, but possibly for the best because my parents are still mad about that party I threw in their home over spring break. They still haven't really let me have it, so I'm kind of frightened.

I'm going to miss my roommates :(

In a way I'm going to miss the convenience of the dorms, but in another way... I'm done with it. It was fun, and now I think I'm done.

I think I'm going to have to define this year as one of the most defining years of my life. Because, damn, a lot of shit's gone down.

Mmmmm I suppose I'm out of things to say. I'm not as good at this as I used to be.
Walk into the bar

[19 Mar 2008|01:07am]
I was working on my schedule for next fall, and these are the courses I must take:

Macroeconomics in the World Economy: Theories and Applications
Statistics for Economics
Intro to Mathematical Microeconomics
Mexico Since 1850
Mexican-American History

Why this may prove to be a problem:
-I suck at math, hardcore. The fact that I have to take two math based courses at once may be overwhelming, and I'm frightened. Especially since the replacement for mathematical microeconomics is calculus. I wish I could type the noise I would make to express how I feel about this, but I'm not sure how. I think I'm gonna go with "aguuuuuuuuugggsh".
-I'm really not that big into Mexico. But, because the stats class is at the absolute worst times in the universe, the only other classes I can take that will satisfy my requirements are the Mexican ones. So seriously, wtf to that.
-I just remembered that I also wanted to take choir and string ensemble again. But that would put me at 18 credit hours, and I don't exactly feel like committing suicide. (Without them I'm at 16, which is rough enough.)
-If any of these courses fill up before I can register, I'm kind of screwed. They're all quite necessary. One of my more ambitious goals for college is to graduate in four years. Which, considering how I'm double majoring, attending UIC, and have previously switched my major makes it extra difficult. And if I get screwed over by something like this, it's gonna hurt.

/whine.

Anyway, things have been going well lately. I've been procrastinating kind of a lot, which is starting to bite me in the ass. The rest of the semester is going to be pretty hectic, which is lame.

I drank some Dew at about 9:30ish so I could have enough energy to finish my reading. And I did it! But now I'm not tired :(

Good news is that I've sort of learned how to open up to people/stop pushing them away as frequently, so I've been enjoying that. Made some new friends, so a nice pat on the back for me.

I've been looking for apartments with this one chick I know. We haven't been looking very hard because we thought we were going to get lucky with this one place over in the medical district, but that fell through, which is lame. We kind of have different views for what we want in a place (I'm looking for a shit hole close to campus, she wants something nice and doesn't mind the commute...) which may prove to be a problem. It should work out though.

That also means that I'm gonna start having to look for a new job in the city. New things frighten me.

Spring break on Thursday!! Super pumped, mainly because I haven't been home for well over a month, and also because I'm exhausted. I'm in dire need of some serious chill time. Even though I'll be working 9-6 five of the days, and still want to get some research and other homework done too. Ah well.

I should probably attempt sleep now.
1 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[21 Feb 2008|02:19pm]
It seems like this is always the time of the year where I hit a motivational roadblock. I don't know if it's because of the weather, or if it's because I feel like the year's been going on forever or what. But school just doesn't feel like it matters at this point. I do poorly and I don't care. I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied, I took an online quiz last night and got a 35% (I have the opportunity to retake it, but I probably won't), and I meant to go to my 8 am discussion this morning, but totally slept through it. I've been spacing out constantly. I've been forgetful. I'm frequently late.

Everything just feels tedious.

I'm not looking for advice or anything, I just need to vent a little bit. I'll get through this like I always do, it's just frustrating.

Ah well. Shower time.
Walk into the bar

[16 Feb 2008|07:03pm]
A hilarious prank on me was pulled this morning, but I do not know by whom!!

I'm home in GE for the weekend because my boss wanted me to work. So this morning, I was about to race on out the door, when I was informed that Dan had gone out to my car earlier, because he saw a bunch of paper on it. He brought in a bunch of pamphlets from Jewel Osco, ranging in topics from:

Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Vaginitis
Allergic Rhinitis
Urinary Tract Infection
Erectile Dysfunction

These pamphlets were stuck under my windshield, in the door, on top of the hood, on top of the roof, all over my car (well, not my car, actually, my parents car, which I have been known to drive). There were maybe fifteen or twenty of these pamphlets which had been put there sometime during the night without any of us knowing. Mark's car was in the driveway too, but his had no pamphlets on it.

My first assumption was that it was done by some of the people I work with, considering that they're really the only people who knew I was coming home, and it's definitely their sense of humor. But they deny having anything to do with it, but are jealous of how good it was and wish it had been their idea.

I'm jealous of it, too. It's friggin' hilarious.

Does anyone know who did this? Because it's a genius idea and I want to congratulate whoever did it.

EDIT: Turns out it was the people I work with. Those dorks, haha.
2 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[31 Jan 2008|03:11pm]
A series of disconnected thoughtsCollapse )
1 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

I hate to obsess more over facebook, but... [14 Jan 2008|12:53am]
Have you ever gone on facebook and realized that there are several people who you were not too long ago pretty close too, suddenly no longer your friend? They just up and removed you? For no apparent reason?

I just found three. And it couldn't have been that long ago that they un-friended me. And I don't know why they decided to. Well, one I suppose I can understand, but the other two I have no idea why! I mean, I haven't been talking to them very much recently, but that's because the last few times I've called them they haven't answered their phones or called me back. What the fuck!

I moved in a few hours ago. The semester hasn't even fucking started yet and I've already lost friends.

Why is it that when I finally start developing a sense of self, some opinions, even a little confidence in myself (if you can believe that) that everyone finds it offensive and leaves me? I don't feel like I've become worse. But maybe I have.

I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to go back to who I used to be, because I was miserable and I was nobody and I was awkward and quiet and unknown. But I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to keep friends. I don't know how to let people get close to me without freaking out and I don't know how to do anything.

I wish I didn't notice it when people un-friend me on facebook. I mean, I feel like the ultimate loser when I see it and know it. I shouldn't take facebook so seriously. But it's the fact that it's so not serious that it bothers me: very few people un-friend others for no reason. They do it because they don't care about you anymore and they don't want to know anymore about your life or who you are. They want to disconnect themselves from you the quickest and easiest way possible.

What's wrong with me? Please tell me...
5 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[11 Jan 2008|04:17pm]
There are absolutely no updates on my friends page. No joke. It said "Maybe Dorrie has no friends."

I have nothing to say. But I don't like showing up to my friends page and seeing "maybe Dorrie has no friends". That was a pretty low blow, livejournal. You could have just said "none of Dorrie's friends use livejournal anymore because they're all a bunch of quitters." Maybe.
3 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[21 Dec 2007|12:14am]


haa... so wrong, but so in love with it right now...
Walk into the bar

[12 Dec 2007|01:55am]
What I did today:

-woke up at 1
-took a shower
-went on facebook
-called my mom
-called McChez to discuss my work schedule
-watched half of Ferngully
-realized the other half was not on YouTube
-discussed pooping/farting for about the bajillionth time with my roommates
-ate dinner
-played spider solitaire
-played solitaire
-played Wario Ware
-listened to Iron & Wine
-watched Sex and the City
-watched SNL
-watched Canadian PSAs on YouTube
-made a list of things I've done today

I suck at life

*Note that I did not go outside once today. I didn't realize this until about 7.
2 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[04 Dec 2007|03:30pm]
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbored.

It seems like I'm thinking about a lot right now, but none of it's really that important or interesting.

I should probably be studying harder for finals buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut yeah just don't really care right now.

I don't really care about anything right now.

Kind of apathetic.

It's not bad, though. I mean, nothing is really bringing me down, but I feel like I should be caring more about things. But I don't, and it doesn't seem like it should be a problem...

Maybe I should stop thinking about what others are thinking about, and what I think they think I should think.

.....maaaaaybe.

I wish I had the energy to find out more about certain issues so I could discuss them with people. I'm such a boring conversationalist sometimes. But even when I think I know things, I get too nervous about discussing them with people who seem to know more than me.

I care a lot about what certain people think of me. Especially smart sounding people.

I have been very defensive lately, though. I don't mean to be. But when some people talk to me, it sounds like they're yelling at me. So I get defensive and yell at them suddenly over really stupid things and then I feel bad. But maybe they shouldn't sound so angry!!

I'm sure it seems like I'm super depressed or something, if you're just looking through my recent entries, but I'm actually not. I just don't have anything to talk about other than complaining. Most of the time, I'm quite content.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmstillbored.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmgonnagofindsomethingtodo.
Walk into the bar

[20 Nov 2007|12:51am]
...But I am le tired.Collapse )
3 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[18 Nov 2007|12:20am]
I seem to go about living my life very oddly.

But I suppose that's more of a matter of perspective.
1 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[12 Nov 2007|02:41am]
OK. So. Honest opinions needed.

It's been about a year since I've gotten a serious haircut. My hair length is currently past the shoulders, and is longer than it's been for... oh I dunno, over ten years? Maybe? Possibly. Lately, the reactions I've been getting are: "Oh my gosh! Your hair is so long! ....It looks good though" Which has the potential of being total bullshit. Now, personally, I think it looks alright, because when I had shorter hair, it kind of made the back of my neck look nasty, IMO. But sometimes, being longer, it gets all poofy and crap and looks stupid. It can also be a pain in the ass to take care of sometimes.

So yeah. Please, be as blunt as you need to be, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Eh?Collapse )
5 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[06 Nov 2007|12:42am]
I hate to be one of these people, but it fits quite well right now:

Of Montreal - Voltaic Crusher

I write a thousand songs for you a day
But I never run out of things to say
You're my Ulysses that I'll never end
Now that I fucked up, lost you, sweet friend

Everything is in the trash, and it's my fault
I've destroyed us, I know, it's unrecoverable
If there's a God he will repair your heart
If there's a God, send her an angel
Make him handsome and clever and not crazy
And you notice something wonderful
Someone to love her volcanically

And please, please, please God, don't be a bastard
Christ knows she deserves something nice for a change
Christ knows she deserves something nice for a change

I am a flaw, I'm a mistake
I am faulty, I always break
I tried, you don't believe me, but I did
I tried to mature, be responsible, dot dot dot
But my heart is juvenile
And my character's not so hot

You gave me your hand, I gave you a fist

Please don't lose any sleep over me, baby
I hardly exist
You gave me your hand, I gave you a fist
Please don't lose any sleep over me, baby
I hardly exist
You gave me everything, still I resist
Please don't lose any sleep over me, baby
I hardly exist

I hardly exist...
Walk into the bar

[29 Oct 2007|02:55pm]
My favorite thing about college, without question, is the graffiti.

This specific example has been entertaining me all day:

[on the back of a bathroom stall door]
[two girl stick figures drawn kissing each other]
LESBIANS [in cursive written above picture, as in the title of the picture]
<---SIN!!
<---Why is love a sin?
<---Love ain't a sin but the Bible says homosexuality is an abomination
<---Your mom's an abomination on my asshole

In other news, why didn't anyone tell me about Muse earlier?
Walk into the bar

[23 Oct 2007|03:04pm]
Blah Blah Blah BlaaahCollapse )
10 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[01 Oct 2007|02:29pm]
More self-centered ramblings, don't bother if you have better things to doCollapse )
3 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[21 Sep 2007|10:47am]
I'm really glad I'm going home today, because I'm suddenly overwhelmed by how much I miss my mom.

:(
Walk into the bar

[05 Sep 2007|03:29pm]
So I've tried, and I can't Google myself. It doesn't matter if I type in Dorrie or Dorothy or my last name or anything, I personally don't come up in any way.

I guess I've never made a good impression on the internet. I guess the good news is that nobody can find out all my secrets through Google or anything? But I feel kind of like a nobody...

The world will never know me!
3 forgot to duck |Walk into the bar

[29 Aug 2007|09:52pm]
I think bingo is underrated.

Anyone with me on this?
Walk into the bar

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